FML

Sooo......yeah, really not sure why I have such a problem with being "left out".  I'm sitting here at work, listening to this year's Resident Assistants have their first meeting for training, and they're all laughing and having a fantastic time.  The thing is, I had the opportunity to be one of them, and I turned it down!!  I know that being an RA would just be too much for me, and yet I want to be a part of what they do!  It's as though I can't stand to not be a part of something, no matter how insignificant it may be.  I even feel this way about office meetings I can't attend because I have to man the phones.  It's a meeting, for Heaven's sake, yet I want to be a part of it SO BADLY!!!!!

Honestly, this strikes me as rather ridiculous.

Livin' in a bubble...

Before we get started, click this link for a little backstory: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=453590333633 .

So, as you can see, my family is going through some interesting times.  These times have forced me to become much stronger as a person than I ever thought I could be.  However, one can only take so much.  Last semester, I lived at home because I figured that my mom would need me to be around an help.  The thing is, the negativity and stress levels in my house were affecting me quite a bit, and so I moved in campus this semester so that I could focus more on my studies.  I thought that, once I moved here, I would be able to just chill out, be a student, as I needed to be.  But I can't.

This life I'm living at college, it seems surreal, like I'm walking in a dream.  My dad is fighting for truth and liberty from behind prison bars, and I'm sitting here learning about Socrates and schizophrenia.  I'm beginning to wonder whether I'm really doing the right thing.  I mean, everyone tells me I need to be a student, that to get an education is the most important thing I can do for my life, but it doesn't seem right.  I feel as though I should be out fighting for truth and liberty outside prison bars, because I can.  I should be an advocate for my dad.

Essentially, I'm questioning my future.

So get out your seat, and jump around!

No, not really, but that song's been stuck in my head for days.  The real topic of this post is: purpose.  It's such a simple word, but it has so many meanings.  Well, actually, according to Dictionary.com, there are five...

pur·pose

/ˈpɜrpəs/ Show Spelled [pur-puhs] Show IPA noun, verb, -posed, -pos·ing.

–noun

1. the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

2. an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

3. determination; resoluteness.

4. the subject in hand; the point at issue.

5. practical result, effect, or advantage: to act to good purpose.

 

...and we all (at least, I do) make it our aim to "discover our purpose", or, find our reason for existence.  Recently, I have had quite a few moments of self-discovery, and I think I know mine.  My purpose is to be a link.  I exist for the sole purpose of giving people what they need, be it another person, a piece of knowledge, etc....and lately, I've been thinking.  Is this enough?

 

I mean, merely connecting people, not really doing anything myself...I can't get paid for it.  My work in the project isn't recognizable.  The one thing I love doing the most can't possibly do me any more good than to give me spiritual peace.  Is this enough?

Let's talk about sex...

Yeah, that got your attention, didn't it?  But I really just want to vent a bit.  I know this topic's been done a thousand times before, but I can't help it.  I just can't stand the portrayal of women as sex symbols.  A friend of mine was just "Stumbling", and he kept coming across these pictures of scantily-clad "sexy" women.  To be honest, this made me feel a little bit awkward.

For one thing, I was embarrassed for the women.  For another, I couldn't help but wonder whether my friend had ever tried to picture other girls (i.e. myself) in that manner.  Finally, a small part of me was even slightly jealous of those women.  They all had these great bodies, and were showing them off, and here I was, worried that my little muffin top was being outlined by my shirt.  However, this post isn't about insecurity, so we'll save that for another time.

The most prominent issue I had with the pictures was the way in which their subjects threw themselves across the photo, appearing to want every person who looked at it.  One woman had an entire collection of those kinds of pictures on her page.  My friend scrolled through these, either doing nothing, or nodding in approval.  This (especially the nodding) made me start to wonder: was he judging whether he liked these women based solely on their appearance, and was this encouraging him to do the same to every woman he sees anywhere?

Now, I am not saying at all that my friend is in any way shallow, nor that he does indeed judge everyday women by their bodies.  I am merely stating that men being encouraged to think that way is a possibility worth considering.

If this is the case, I think that it needs to stop.  I know from personal experience that women (and men) with fantastic bodies can have terrible personalities, and those who don't necessarily have "the perfect body" can be some of the best people you ever meet.

Thoughts?

Rollin' out the welcome mat...

Heyo!  So, I'm really hoping this blog turns out as amusing as I want it to be...but I guess that's up to you, isn't it?  Enjoy! :)