Musings on the Nature of Love

So, I had a pretty intense revelation the other day.
Essentially, I realized how relationships should be built.

Let me give you a few examples...

Exhibit A:
You're feeling very lonely.  You can't seem to make yourself happy.  Nothing you do feels right.  You think to yourself, Perhaps I could fill this gap with a significant other...
So, you find someone.  You get to know them, you can tolerate them, they're even fun to be around.  You start dating, and they make you happy.  They fill the gap.  All is well.
Suddenly, being around them isn't quite so exciting.  You find that you can have just as much fun with someone else as you can with them.  Your interest wanes.  The relationship becomes a burden.  You fight.  You break up.  You're empty again.

Exhibit B:
You're awesome, and you know it.  You're on top of your work, your life...heck, you're on top of the world!  You don't need anyone else, you're just happy with yourself.
Then, one day, you meet someone.  They match you in all the best ways, and tell you when you're wrong.  They're really cool, fun to be around.  You decide to date them, and eventually, you're in a relationship.
Suddenly, you realize you're just not that into them.  It's not like there's anything wrong with them, you just don't need them, and they're kind of cramping your style.  It's difficult to integrate them into your lifestyle.  You pull, they push, and vice versa.  You fight.  You break up.  You don't mind.

Exhibit C:
You're awesome, and you know it.  You're on top of your work, your life...hell, you're on top of the world!  You don't need anyone else, you're just happy with yourself.
Then, one day, you meet someone.  They match you in all the best ways, and tell you when you're wrong.  They're really cool, fun to be around.  You decide to date them, and eventually, you're in a relationship.
Suddenly, they have to go away for a while.  You get sad.  You're not sure what to do when they're absent. You find yourself wishing they'd just come home.  However, you continue on, and do what needs to be done, and have as best a time as you can.
They return, and you're happy again.  Not only are you on top of the world, but so are they, and you're on top of the same world.  Where you want to go, they want to go.  No one's pushing, no one's pulling, because you're fine on your own, and even better together.
Your relationship lasts, and you live happily ever after.


Now, granted, these exhibits are somewhat exaggerated, but the basic principle behind them is this:

In Exhibit A, the subject NEEDS a relationship.  He/She finds one, it serves its purpose of filling a gap, and all is good for a time.  Once the gap is filled, though, the need for a relationship is gone.  Interest wanes, the relationship falls apart, and when it's over, the subject is in essentially the same position as before: sad, empty, and looking to fill the gap.

In Exhibit B, the subject WANTS a relationship.  This is fine at first, but without a NEED for the significant other, the relationship falls apart as soon as something goes wrong.  One little thing can tip the scale, because it remains balanced.  The significant other never becomes a necessary part of the equation, and so the tiniest thing that isn't enjoyed can force the relationship to collapse.

Exhibit C, however, is ideal.  The subject starts out whole, happy, and looking for love.  He/She WANTS a relationship.  They find it, and all is well.  While this may look like Exhibit B, there is one important difference.  In this, the subject comes to NEED the significant other in his/her life.  In this case, while the subject is fine on his/her own, life just isn't quite the same without the significant other.  While they're not required, it's no longer so simple that the subject can simply brush them away.  The relationship lasts, because, while both participants are strong on their own, the support each gives the other is worth it in the end.

Essentially, in my opinion, in order to have a successful relationship, you need to be good on your own first, then find someone that improves your life to such an extent that life without them would be just a little darker.


This has been an insight to my mind.  You're welcome. :)

My boyfriend should be cheaper...

...but not really.

So, my friend comes to me at work and says she really needs to talk to me.  I let my co-worker know I'm stepping away for a minute, and head to the kitchen, worried-friend in tow.

We get to the kitchen, and she proceeds to tell me some huge story about how her boyfriend's been acting really weird, lately, and she doesn't know what to do.  At one point, she even started to cry.

I consoled her, advised her, and walked back to my desk, only to find this waiting for me...

                                          (Ignore the English Literature book)

I was ecstatic, but I felt bad because my friend was having relationship issues, and I had just gotten a surprise rose.  I looked up, and she was grinning.

"Yup, I knew about the whole thing," she said.  "That?"  She pointed down the hall.  "All fake."

Apparently, my crazy boy had taken her to the Sprint store to get her phone fixed, picked up this rose on the way back, and convinced her to help him in this little escapade.

Yes, girls...he's a keeper. ;)

~Katie

P.S. I love them both beyond words. <3